Archive for March, 2007



ASUPREMENEWYORKTHING readers!

You’re all saying to yourself, “hey, what a great website this is, I’m sure everyone reads it!” Well, you’re correct, but for some reason, despite literally everyone & their 2nd cousin’s third son reading this site, the stats show that I get a whopping range of only 5-20 people per day. Can I just say, “WOWeee (shaking my head slowly).

stats march132007

I wonder why that is. It might have something to do with my altogether lack of focus. You know, originally, I was going to just write up a lot of financial topics using nothing but informal English/slang; including both personal and corporate finance. The problem was that the disparity between gangsta-assed thugs and Wallstreet money managers is too large. I’m pretty sure if you’re a gangsta-assed thug on Wallstreet, you’re robbing people - or maybe not, who knows?

I am such a loser.

Sniper

I wake up and I follow some sorta online regiment where I visit some of the dumbest (most brilliant) sites:

http://www.thesuperficial.com - I don’t know the creator of this site but it’s all personality matched with celebrity news. Of course the personality is that of a major asshole - but personality nonetheless.

http://www.superiorpics.com - It’s a British based celebrity site. The reason I visit this one is because this one updates on the weekend too. For some reason people who maintain websites need to take the weekend off. I really don’t know why. Anyway, this site is pretty good. Also, they’ve got a great forum for really hi-resolution pictures of celebrities. The pictures you can find of celebrities on that site are so clear that you can actually see wrinkles. It’s interesting to see un-touched-up photos of celebs.

http://www.thebrilliance.com - I think they’re little pricks. On occasion they’ll post something interesting but these punks who update the website are full of themselves - like heronpreston (see below).

http://www.newstoday.com - I think this is a great site for designers. I’m not a designer but other designers will post junk about their websites or websites they’ve seen that are innovative and it’s all very artsy-fartsy-artsy.

http://www.slate.com - Great site for editorials. Dana Stevens will ruin a movie for you sometimes on her podcast. She’s fun. Also, there are some really REALLY great articles on equity markets.

http://www.newyorker.com - I like reading the film reviews but sometimes I’ll read their other content. I’ve almost went to NONE of the events that they recommend (the happenings around town). There are some good writers: Anthony Lane (film), David Denby (film), Sasha Frere Jones (music), Malcolm Gladwell (News/Statistical matters), Susan Orlean (In-depth look into really random things). It’s very uppity.

http://www.highsnobiety.com - Streetwear junk that’s overpriced.

http://www.hypebeast.com
- More overpriced streetwear junk. Pretty colors but no real content.

http://www.giantrobot.com/blogs/eric/index.html - I’ve met him. He’s a nice guy. He created Giant Robot magazine. When I met him, I thought he looked so young and acted very youthful despite little white hairs on his head.

http://www.stapledesign.com/jeffstaple - Co-founded Reed Space. I think he’s a designer/I don’t know but he seems to have a much more interesting life than I do. He’s another streetwear icon.

http://glob.anewyorkthing.com - The blog for Aron the Don’s website, aNYthing. It’s interesting cause he’ll have weekly postings of concerts/events. Very hipster.

sometimes http://www.heronpreston.com - but I think he’s pompous - Some Correction! FIT Parsons student who seems to have an interesting enough life but I’ve seen some of his videos and it doesn’t feel like he’s that concrete about what he’s talking about. All talk - but I guess that’s creatives.

Finally also sometimes http://www.JohnChow.com - Blog mogul. He’s funny, gives great advice and he has a great outlook on life.

None of these websites pertain to anything I do in my life which by the way happens to be killing people for money. I am a bounty hunter. You know, I’ve always wanted to do that. It’s such a man job, you know what I mean? I’m sure there’s some sort of predatory urge inside of me that wants to off a guy and then there’s that other urge for sacrificing present opportunity for future benefits.

Rudy Giuliani for US President!

Former mayor of New York City thinks outside the box. Actually, the video is from a SNL episode from years ago but the thing is though, Rudy Giuliani is a pretty funny guy. He’s got that fuck you I don’t give a shit attitude. When he was mayor, all those hookers on 42nd Street Times Square had to move and he managed to lower the crime rate to record lows. I don’t know if he would be a good president but he was a damn good mayor - He’s got the New York accent. Good luck to him, that bastard.

Yo, Your Face Blog !

I don’t remember how but I found this blog called ‘Your Face‘ and the author, Damien Weighill, said he’ll draw anyone’s face, with a BEARD! if they’ll send him a picture of themselves. Well I did and HE DID!

Jimmy Drawn

Above: The portrayal is pretty close. Although Damien just gave me a beard, I actually look like that when I take off my shirt. Also, I don’t have a torso in real life.

Now, having just started THIS blog myself, it’s kind of disheartening when you look at the stats and comments sometimes and see that I’ve got two readers and no comments (PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS [single tear drop]) but this guy, Damien Weighill, having just started his blog decided to create some buzz with his drawings. His profile picture looks like the Queen of England with a beard but then of course I may be wrong, I mean, he could actually be the Queen of England using a pseudonym. Anyway, I thought it was quite nice that he did all those drawings. I sent him the most horrific picture of myself and he did a great job by adding his personal touch (or personal perversion).

Queen Your Face

Above: “I won an Oscar! In Your Face little girl from Little Miss Sunshine!” (clears throat and spits)

Nikki

Above: Here’s a pretty hot looking one. She’s hotter BECAUSE of the beard. Her name’s Nikki, how dreamy…

The Last and ONLY Stockmarket advice you’ll ever need!

I’ll follow Slate.com’s Bad Advice column but YOU don’t really need to because basically, let me summarize this for you, other than to diversify, there is nothing that you can do. Actually, it recommends you invest in low cost index funds. It’s a cynical look (or realistic look) that says don’t bother trying to beat the market. If you diversify and you so happen to beat the market, good for you, you got lucky. Henry Blodget writes these great articles like ‘Stop Picking Stocks Immediately!’. Here’s a chunk:

First, in the seven decades since Graham wrote Security Analysis, the stock market has gone from being a playground for amateurs to a battlefield dominated by full-time professionals. One result is that pricing errors that once might have gone unnoticed for months in Graham’s day are now discovered and exploited instantly. Second, the amount of information available about the most obscure stock today dwarfs what was available about even the bellwethers a half-century ago, making it harder to dig up information that other investors don’t know. The moment the information is released, moreover, it is dissected, discussed, and debated by thousands of analysts, until most reasonable conclusions that can be drawn from it have been. Today’s technology also allows even part-time investors to screen tens of thousands of stocks in dozens of markets in the time it would have taken a Graham-era analyst to compute the “net current assets” of a single company.

Third, inside information that used to be quite valuable is now illegal to trade on. And, finally, the establishment of research centers such as the Center for Research in Security Prices (CSRP) has allowed analysts to study markets and investing in ways that the young Benjamin Graham could only have dreamed of—and, in so doing, to assemble a body of knowledge that makes much of the “investment wisdom” of the early 20th century seem as primitive and unscientific as bloodletting.

Imagine the last Lord of the Rings movie. You see all those monsters? There are billions of them, literally. I think the last battle was like half the movie, I’m not sure. Anyway, that’s what you’re up against. Even if you’re researching 24 hours a day you cannot beat them. No matter how much finance ninja you learn, you can’t beat that giant ogre and his minions. Don’t invest in the stock market unless you have inside information.

Fixed-gear Single Speed is what’s up!

The video looks pretty cool and I actually JUST got a bike but it’s not a single speed fixed-gear. I mean, I did some research and basically you take any racing bike and take out all the Derailleur gears - that’s all that junk that lets you change gears. Once you take out all the gears, you’re just stuck with a handle bar, the frame, the chain and the wheels. That apparently lets you get great control and you can, as you can see, do some random tricks.

I mean, I’m not 18 anymore and I really don’t want to break any teeth but I think I might go and get myself a cheap, used, racing bike, rip out the gears and the breaks and all that and see how it is.

Review for Half Nelson and Ghost Rider!

Half Nelson

Above: “So, you watch the Cosby show?” 

Half Nelson with Ryan Gosling was a pretty good movie because it’s knitty-gritty and that’s what’s hot right now. Similar to how Syriana is kind of a knitty-gritty movie or how Traffic was kind of knitty-gritty, the natural look of the camera work - you know what I’m talking about - how it’s never still because it’s always being held by a guy and never on a stand seems to be all the hype. Other than the camera work, the story is worth a watch and the acting is good enough to make us believe. It’s a drama so there’s nothing sexy or action packed about it. If you’re planning on watching it then slow your pace down and want to be emotionally involved to reap its benefits.

What you’ve got here is this white guy who’s somewhat relate-able, the way he’s innocently idealistic about the world. He teaches at a public school with a bunch of black and hispanic kids, studied dialectic - or atleast that’s what he teaches his students about, concepts and ideas about change rather than just have them memorize facts and dates about the Civil Rights movement (he teaches history) - and, most importantly, because this is what get’s you, he’s fallen like an angel in darkness - ADDICTED TO CRACK, baby.

THIS CRACKA is a CRACKHEAD. He doesn’t see his problem as a problem and he teaches during the day. There are scenes in the movie film (Yashamesh!) where he’s rambling and I couldn’t distinguish whether he was actually teaching or on a cracka-head crack high.

Scenes of his life are contrasted/interwined with intermittent scenes of Drey’s life, played by Shareeka Epps - wonderful actress because she’s pretty gangsta, pretty street, or so she appears. She’s a student in his class and a player on the basketball team our crackhead teacher coaches and during these important years of her life she deals with a missing father, a brother in jail and a mother who’s trying to support them but never has any time because she’s always working (it’s heartbreaking). There are some real monumental scenes in the movie the different premises build up to. It’s not a movie you want to watch if you’re feeling down but it’s really good if you are. Ghostrider was a piece of shit.

Ghost Rider

Above: Somebody call the Ghostbusters.

Yahoo Answers Part 5!

Yahoo Answers

Here’s a two parter actually cause I just answered another one and it was pretty good.

*ADD: By the way, for those of you who have never visited my site and are looking at this, basically, Yahoo has this little social networking type thing whereby people can go on and ask or answer questions. Personally I like to answer questions and here, on the site, are some of my favorite answers.

Question:

Why don’t the girls who work down at the local “Hooters” like to see me come in there?

My Answer:

I think it’s cause you’re a pervert. I’ve seen you, you’re always either scratching down there or grabbing for your thing. You know what I’m talking about, you perv. Okay, so one time, you accidentally spilled your drink and yes, it was an accident, but it was also all over 5 hooter waitresses while they were singing happy birthday to you, because it so happened your birthday was 3 months away, and it was much less a spill and much more you just taking the whole thing of beer and pouring it over their tops making them all wet and slippery - or making them, as I’d like to think, the way they’re supposed to be, wet and slippery.

Listen, it’s okay, so sometime you accidentally take your chicken wings and you slip it down their tight little tops, and by chicken wings I mean you take your finger and by finger I mean your penis.

Good luck with THAT - keep eating there. They look like they don’t like you but in fact, they’re fantasizing about you when they’re at home sleeping in their beds and touching themselves. Is that dirty thinking? That’s because you’re a pervert. They’re touching themselves on their foreheads, that’s what I meant.

Question:

How do I force this girl to like me?

She told me she didn’t want to date me because I’m not her type. But then I showed up at her house and talked to her mom and dad and they said I was perfect for her. So I keep asking her out again and she always says no. Sometimes I follow her to work and ask and ask and ask! And then last weekend I found out she was going to the movies so I showed up at the end of it at her car and gave her some roses and candy. She still hasn’t said yes? How do I force her to date me?!?

My Answer:

That’s pretty awesome what you’ve done. Some people may call this weird and disturbing but don’t listen to those people because what you’ve got going here is obviously TRUE LOVE. Come now, she just doesn’t know it yet but she truly loves you and she’s just probably afraid to show it. What you might want to do is, whenever you can, take some of her hair, get it ANYWAY you can, and build a doll that looks just like her with it. Obviously what will happen is that she’ll see it and realize that you are willing to go above and beyond for her.

Have you ever seen ‘Single White Female’? That is the greatest romance movie you will ever see. I suggest you rent it and then take some tips from it because one of the characters in the movie really show some prime examples of what love is.

Does this girl that you like have a boyfriend? Well, that boyfriend no matter what is a skumbag compared to you, please understand that. He’s probably alway mistreating her by faking being nice. What I suggest you do is somehow sabotage their relationship, if she has a boyfriend, by getting one of your friends to hook up with him and then take pictures. Now, that may seem illegal and nutty, but then again, it’s true love and you MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN for true love.

Good luck and may god be with you. He probably already is so don’t worry about it.

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