ASUPREMENEWYORKTHING

Have you ever seen that movie “Closer”? That was an awesome movie because Natalie Portman was smokin’ hot in it. Okay ladies who read my site, stop reading now cause you’re not going to want to hear this, but get this, guys like hot looking broads. So again, I’m sitting there on my morning commute and in comes in these horrendous monsters. They’re horrendous monsters because they’re not only fat but they’re also oog-ly. Like everyone, they don’t know it. Nobody ever knows they’re ugly and you can tell because EVERYONE buys all this expensive clothes, nice bags or try to wear make-up thinking yeah, I’m that much closer to Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan (arbitrarily picked “it” girls) with this 5 hundred dollar bag and those 200 dollar shoes. Ugh, I can recall back in college knowing stupid cunts like those -now if you’re reading this and you’re thinking, hey, I own a Louis Vuitton bag but I’m not like that, well, maybe you’re not thinking hard enough cause maybe you are exactly the type of person I’m talking about (or maybe you’re not, whatever, read on).

So let me get back to that movie, “Closer.” Man, Natalie Portman was great in that movie. Great as in holy crap I’d want to save her too if I was around her. Now what am I talking about? saving her? If you haven’t seen the movie, a subplot of the movie is the tragedy that this beautiful Natalie Portman character who doesn’t need to be saved or want to be saved is in love with a man who only wants to be with her because he feels the need to save her. This was the form that his love has taken. It’s not so much a love for her but a love to be her savior. She on the other hand loves him for him and wants him to love her for her.

Anyway… yeah, let me tie this all together for you. So I’m sitting on the bus and I’m thinking, the movie was great because Natalie Portman was hot but if the Natalie Portman character was played by Queen Latifah, it would have bombed. OR! not even Queen Latifah, but say it was played by Kelly Osborne (shudder), it would have sucked. No one would have believed Jude Law (the guy Natalie Portman loved) wanted to protect Kelly Osborne BECAUSE! she’s a horrendous monster and if you’re a guy sitting in the audience, you’d demand your money back. The end. (hey, they can’t ALL be winners - blech…)