ASUPREMENEWYORKTHING

Jason Osborne is an interesting guy. He works in people’s houses doing carpentry or construction stuff? and he’s been doing it for the last 10 years.

Continue reading ‘Jason Osborne Tragedy Strategy @ the journal gallery on January 30th, 2008′

First of all, lets not kid ourselves. This website is…PERHAPS (most likely) one of the most popular on the web. LITERALLY, what? dozens upon dozens of people visit this site daily? Yes, it’s true… it’s true… … (sigh). Anyway, here’s an interesting article.

Continue reading ‘Flushing Business Boom in Queens!’

Normally I would just steal the pictures, but here’s the link to the NY Times article Bicycles That Carry Powerful Beats, and Even a Rider or Two

Continue reading ‘Boombox Bicycles in Richmond Hills, Queens!’

Continue reading ‘The Jewish Phonebook! Only in Queens.’

I bought this about a little more than a month ago. I have no problem throwing away this ten dollar piece of shit.

I love “discovering” new publications but when the content is so worthless, I’m just annoyed. Fuck you Monocle, you trivial piece of shit.

Continue reading ‘Monocle, You Piece of Shit!’

Okay, so… on February 7, 2008, 10 pm, NBC is going to premiere this show called Lipstick Jungle about three hot broads dealing with life’s dramas. The pilot episode literally starts off with some celebrity tv show being played in the background telling you the names of these three and how they are amongst the top 50 most powerful women in New York, as played by Brook Shields, Lindsay Price and Kim Raver.

I watched it and I thought it was pretty interesting. It’s clearly a drama comedy series thing like Sex and the City. Appropriately so since it’s based off of another book by Candace Bushnell. If you’ve seen Sex and the City, well, you get the idea, three women, they have problems, they meet up, console each other, sometimes cry, and then boom, they resolve it in one, two or maybe three episodes. I’m no queer so I probably shouldn’t watch this show but look at the screenshot above. Uhmm… how can I resist!? These are some SMART looking ladies. I might watch this show, but, in secret. If you’re interested, you can download a copy off the internet.
Continue reading ‘What I like about Lipstick Jungle!’

What is this? What benefit is derived from the fact that this motherfucker has warts? There is no reason to include that extra point at all.

Continue reading ‘The Heart is a Lonely Hunter @ 31 Grand Gallery’

Go to this art show. Reception is tomorrow. Free booze, probably.

THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER
Artists: Shauna Born, Fanny Bostrom, Paul Brainard, Maureen Cavanuagh, Orly Cogan, Jan Dunning, Juno Doran, Brad Kahlhamer, Carol “Riot” Kane, Kris Knight, Kate Kretz, Jason Cole Mager, Ryan McClennan, Sean McDevitt, Emily Roz, and Jeff Wyckoff

January 10 - February 9, 2008
Reception for the Artists: Thursday, January 10, 7-9pm

31GRAND is pleased to announce “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” a group exhibition on the condition of being human. Bringing together a diverse group of artists and mediums, the show is filled with human revelations from our struggle with isolation and loss, to love, wonderment, desire and desperation.

Subway Directions

Hi Jimmy,

Subway, let’s see… So best bet is the 2nd Ave. F train. Get out at the 1st Ave. and Houston exit. Walk south on Houston till you hit Ludlow St. (corner where Katz deli is). At Ludlow take a right (toward downtown) and you’ll hit us at 143 Ludlow between Stanton St. and Rivington St. Hope you can make it.

Serenity Now!

I have not been keeping up with this at all. There’s an article in the WSJ about the Golden Globes being canceled because of the writers’ strike!? Uhm… last time I checked, those shows didn’t really need that much writing. The jokes sucked anus. Last time I checked, everyone can write some crap. Look at this blog, I’m a writer.

Now you’re saying to yourself, “Uhm… I’ve read your blog and uhm… you’re not really a writer.” Well, fuck you, but my point is, really!? There are literally 1 or 2 good comedies on TV and the rest are god awful. Isn’t the Golden Globes more like a reality TV show anyway? I have seen that celebrity parade before and I do not remember anything from them. That’s because it was NEITHER FUNNY NOR WELL WRITTEN for.
Continue reading ‘Writers Strike!? Still!?’

It’s really hard to find Youtube GOLD these days but theses Reel Geezers, as they call themselves, are really great. They’re a good combination and real breath of fresh air (even if there is nothing literally fresh about them).

Michael Clayton

Have you had this terrible yogurt or non-yogurt yet? Most likely you’ve never seen this unless you live in New York or L.A. (Lucky you!) If you go to Wikipedia, you’ll read that Pinkberry does not fall under the category of yogurt. It tastes terrible. Is it supposed to be healthy? Because it’s terrible. I want everyone to go out and try some so that you can find out for yourselves how terrible it tastes. Listen, fine, it tastes terrible, but it’s also expensive. I paid 10 dollars for a “large” (QUOTATION MARKS!) cup. They even weighed the cup on a little scale as if they didn’t want me to get fat. Listen, I’m fat, that’s why I’m eating here. Holy shit, what a total rip off. There is no reason these pinkberry yogurt places should stay in business for the long run. They are novelty stores. Once you’ve been tricked into buying some, you’ll never buy any again!

I’ve read on the internet that people love it. They call it crackberry. Uhmmm… last time I heard, crack was good! Holy shit, what a total waste of money. It totally ruined my day. I was all happy from the nice warm global-warming weather and I totally ruined my day by trying that completely god awful bullcrap.

Continue reading ‘Pinkberry!? More like Shitberry!’

It’s great. I remember a few months back, we had these foreign exchange interns working at our office. Their English wasn’t terrible that I couldn’t understand them but whenever they made a joke, I completely ignored it or I would in fact actually try to look even more serious and/or stern. It was great. I loved it. I mean, sometimes, I got their jokes. Sometimes it wasn’t a total miss but I would just completely ignore it.

Okay, if I was a nice guy, I could have made an effort to fake laugh, out of courtesy. I didn’t. Of course, after I ignored and watched their confused (sometimes uncomfortable) faces, I WANTED to laugh! but held back, just to add that extra UGH-I-HATE-YOU one two punch, kinda like “Nice try, asshole, NOT FUNNY, Fuck you!“

What’s more funny is that while I’m sitting here, writing this, I can’t stop laughing, inside.

For a short period of time, I had a myspace. I wrote on my myspace blog. Mostly I used it to write about personal crap, literally. Apparently Technorati somehow kept a record of all my blog entries. Uhmm… wonderful? Anyway, here they are for your reading pleasure (in reverse chronological order). I have since closed my myspace account:

Oceans 13 was a piece of shit

Yeah, Oceans 13 was a piece of shit. Who cares about that movie? I don’t. Anyway, remember in that movie Antitrust it turned out Rachael Leigh Cook was the good guy and Claire Forlani was the bad guy? Wasn’t that wild? I liked how Rachael Leigh Cook was a designer. If they told me she was some hardcore programmer, it would’ve sucked cause you know she would have needed to look like a total piece of shit. Maybe in real life programmers don’t look like douchebags, anymore, maybe in real life programmers no longer go to Spencer’s Gifts for their wardrobe, anymore, but the general public don’t wanna see programmers that look like supermodels because it goes against everything America is about.

The 5th floor is not good for taking a shit

ADD: 8/29/07 - I didn’t want to write another post about taking a dump so I’ll just add to this one, but, just a few hours ago, I took a huge dump. It was beautiful. I almost want to cry now because it was so beautiful. Literally, I didn’t even know I had that much crap inside of me but IT CAME ALL OUT. Wow, IT WAS AMAZING. Sure, it’s gross to think about it, but I needed to tell someone. I can’t talk about it in real life anymore. I would and I used to but it turns out, it DOES NOT help my image as an individual. People, close or not close, DO NOT find my dump stories interesting whatsoever.

Long logs and being tall

I just took a dump and out came two long logs. It’s because I’m tall. I’ve heard people in the past talking about floating logs. Uhmm… my logs, they didn’t float, they sank to the bottom. In fact, they made a stain on the inside of the toilet. I had to flush four times to get that stain out because I was embarassed. First I was amazed, then I was humored and then I was embarassed. Yeah, that’s about the right order. Anyway, how do you get your logs to float? I guess I have to eat marshmellows for a week and find out. I assume that’s how.

Continue reading ‘When I Had MySpace!’